A couple weeks ago, I went to a missionary conference where
I spent a whole week with a group of about 100 people, most of whom had spent a
good amount of time as missionaries overseas.
In a way, I felt like I was on a trip back in time. Somehow, just looking at the people I was
with and hearing them talk, made me think of the age of Bible Crusades and tent
meetings- the era when the gospel was given a bit more up-front and
in-your-face. Most people were double my age and the bearers of that era. It
was a good dose of Brethren culture with a few jokes here and there about how
Brethren don’t like change and a few gentle reminders not to judge others who
do things differently.
To me, who had just come out of four years of university-age
Christian conferences filled with youthful passion, latest technology, and cutting
edge evangelism, this felt a little old-fashioned. I laughingly mentioned this
to Erin and she said, “I don’t really think it’s old-fashioned. I think of it
more as steady.”
Steady. That is a word my generation hardly thinks of and
rarely aspires to. In my mind it is right in the category of characteristics
deemed outdated or boring by today’s culture- words like prudent, modest, wise,
chivalrous, and submissive. Steady fits right in.
But should it be outdated?
“Steady” stayed with
me all week and I began to look at the people around me through that lens- the
lens that denotes commitment and unwavering faith- and I began to see beautiful
things.
I saw humanity and weakness. We struggled through seminars
on stress management and how to deal with the weight of hurting people and a
sick world. We grappled with the concept of forgiveness and what that looks
like in conflicts with co-workers. We even had a workshop on remembering to
serve with love. Why, when these things are so very basic? Because we are so
very human.
Yet in strange combination with this, I saw strength,
steadiness. I met a woman who looked like she had stepped out of one of my
mom’s photographs from the 80’s with a heart of pure gold and a smile that
shone pure joy; an Egyptian working in a Bible society for 30 years- facing his
stores being burned and his people being persecuted; and his wife who spent 25
years working in a garbage village and watching its people be transformed by
Christ’s love. I met a girl a couple of years older than myself whose heart’s
desire is to spend the rest of her life serving India’s urban poor, and I heard
the stories of hurting missionaries who are facing sickness and pain like so
many copies of Job. I met countless people who have been on the mission field
longer than I have been alive, and a precious few who have served double my
lifetime.
That’s His grace- combining weakness with strength in an
unlikely mixture.
Old-fashioned? Yes, probably- at least in many people’s
eyes. But old does not mean bad. I am far from steady, yet if I can get to age
60 or 70 and have a heart similar to some of the ones I met, I suppose I can
stand being a bit old-fashioned.
So, steady now…. In spite of myself…Steady this heart.
